Friday, October 21, 2011

They Say That Breaking Up Is Hard To Do....

The Carpenters said it best, perhaps they knew all about messy relationships?  If you've lived long enough there's a chance you do too.  Good Bye, isn't easy, whether you're letting go of a significant other, a friend, lover, spouse, co-worker, parent, child.....

Fortunately, I'm not letting go of a meaningful relationship.  Unfortunately, I prying my fingers lose from a dream, a way of life, a chapter of my story that I don't feel done writing yet.

I came to this place full of expectations.  It was Spring, Spring naturally lends itself to new beginnings.  I wont say that it was love at first sight, but there was certainly promise and hopefulness in our meeting.  In the six and a half years since I've lived here, the Little Yellow House on the Prairie has been the place I've truly felt at home.  It's not been a house, or a place to lay my head, it has been my home.  Put simply home is defined as a place of residence, or refuge.  For me, home is a feeling, not an actual structure with Dry-Wall and carpet.

In coming here I brought my desire for space and room, room to move, a quiet place to nest, and reflect, to nurture and tend, and that is exactly what I got.  The sky is big here, the view is breathtaking, the quiet is soothing, and there is openness everywhere I look.  I've never felt claustrophobic or confined here, sheltered maybe, but never confined.

This is the place that my oldest child will remember as her first home.  It's the only home my younger children have ever lived in.  Manning Road has been more than our address it's been, a frozen pond in the Winter where my children ice skate.  It's been an open Soccer Field, where kicks are practiced, goals are scored, balls caught.  A veritable treasure trove of outdoor experiences have been shared here.  From Bike Paths,  to rigged Water Slides created from Swing Set parts, Easter Egg Hunts,  Fourth Of July Bashes, Birthday Parties, Mud Fights, countless bon-fires and s'mores....  Over time I'll try to feel and relive my favorite of the sweet memories that I've had here, and I'll smile a  bitter sweet smile, and wonder if I will always look back at my time here as the "Golden Years" of my family's life.

It seems fitting that I should be leaving this place in the Autumn, a time of beauty and change that ushers in an end known as Winter.  I'll only drive the winding road along the river a few more times.  There wont be anymore Early Morning Runs around the loop.  I doubt I'll get a chance to bid the Elk farewell, because there are still a few boxes to pack and a few to- dos left on my list.

The melancholy wont last too long.  It's not in my nature to pine endlessly.  Soon I'll be excited about the next stage and the next chapter that is yet to unfold, yet to be written.  I don't know what lies in store, or where our path will lead us next, but in truth, there is a big part of me that I'm leaving here...

I really do hate good-byes!  For me, breaking up is VERY hard to do...


1 comment:

  1. You write so fully and completely what is in your heart. Thank you for sharing your journey.

    Truly the Little Yellow House on the Prairie will always have a precious piece of your heart. The walls will always echo with the laughter of your sweet children, the floors will always feel the pitter patter of their little feet, the windows will always reflect the sweet faces of your darling children peering out into the world, and the roof will always hold the warmth of the love of your little family. It will always be a happy home waiting to embrace the new lives that enter its door thanks to your little family. And know this...it will miss you too!

    ReplyDelete