EVERYTHING, is better with Whipped Cream!!!

I've wondered lately if the person who coined the phrase, "pretty please, with sugar on top" had any idea of the power of sugar?

In my family sugar is a metaphor for, kindness, gentleness, patience, understanding, and plain ole sweetness. My husband, bless his heart, has put up with more than his share of my, crab-apple-ness if you will. A year ago or so we came up with a way for him to communicate to me that he'd like me STOP being mean, without saying it quite like that. Now, he says, "Can I have some sugar?" Those 5 simple words are more effective than him giving me a lecture about my poor attitude.

Today was one of those days that seemed to start out with an edge, and the edge got sharper as the morning progressed. At noon, I did an about face. I looked my oldest child in the eye, and asked her if she would please forgive me for being harsh and impatient with her. That little bit of sugar sweetened us both, and in seconds we were snuggling on the couch with our books, and strawberries, once again enjoying each other's company.

The good thing about sugar is that it attracts more. Start with a sprinkle, and pretty soon you have a bowl FULL!!! By bedtime tonight, each child was overflowing with good will, towards one another and towards me. There is nothing quite so lovely as ending a day well, knowing that your children feel loved from head to toe, as they snuggle under the covers. It makes us all happy when the last thing that they see before they drift off, is my smiling face.

There are definitely days/nights when things don't go quite so well, and threats fly... "IF YOU GET OUT OF BED AGAIN......"

But not tonight, tonight I remembered that everything is better with sugar, and whipped cream...

Proximity Is Not Engagement!!

It was a post call morning. The kind of morning when I'd consider selling my soul, for a few more moments between my flannel sheets. Unfortunately, giving birth did not magically turn me into a person who only needs 4 hours of sleep. So, when I've been up a lot during the night the morning after starts slowly, and painfully.

The twins have gotten into the habit of coming into my bedroom if they rise before me. They lift the covers and crawl in. I don't mind their invasion, just as long as they let me rest a little longer. On this particular morning, both of my twinlets decided to join me. I rolled onto my back, pulled in my limbs and made plenty of room for them both, not turning to the right or the left so that they would have no reason to squawk about me giving more attention to the other. (Twins do that, frequently)

As I was just about to doze off again, Jonas announced, "mommy, you are not snuggling with me!" It occured to me then, and I've been thinking about it since, that proximity is not engagement. At least not according to my son. It didn't matter that I was sharing the covers, I was not sharing myself.

It is often easy for stay at home/home-schooling moms to fall into the trap of believing that because we are WITH our children, continuously, that somehow that translates into being present. When 3pm rolls around and I've, directed, cleaned up after, instructed, and waited on my children for what seems like an eternity, I often want to tune out, and retreat into a quiet place inside my own thoughts.

A better option, is to find scheduled time, that I can steal now and then, time when I can re-charge and replenish, my own soul. Creativity helps, when searching for those golden nuggets of opportunity. That time could be, taking a book to the park, and reading while they play, it could be, taking a bubble bath while they listen to stories, and fold laundry. It really depends on the day. Regardless of the shape, size, or appearance of those moments, taking them when I can, is vital.

Time for me to regroup, enables me to be the engaged parent that my children deserve. After all who wants a blow up doll mommy, who is there in shape and form, but not in spirit?

I want to do better at applying the following quote, and encourage others to as well.

"Wherever you are, be all there!"

~Jim Elliot

The Blame Game

My 8 year old likes to blame the world for everything. She blames the powers that be if her backpack is too heavy. She blames her parents if she wakes up with a rooster tail or in a foul mood and usually the two go hand in hand. If she gets hungry before lunch, it must certainly be our fault, for not feeding her enough breakfast. For most other things that grieve her, she blames her siblings.

My initial response to her accusations, complaints and frequent protestations is a ready made sermonette, on the vice of whining and the dreaded consequence that such behavior will evoke. Occasionally, however, I reflect before I launch into my lecture. As I reflect it occurs to me that although whining may be a universal childhood problem, it is a problem that afflicts adults as well. It's possible that my lovely daughter inherited her grumbling spirit from me. How often do I verbalize my discontent or disatisfaction about life and circumstances? In reality there are bountiful blessings surrounding all of us, on all sides.

I'm searching for the remedy, the perfect potion to halt the "blame game", and bring about some perspective, and a healthy dose of reality. As in most cases I think the solution starts with me.

It's my theory that the more I cultivate a grateful, content and loving spirit the more I'll see that reflected in my children. After all if they inherit grumbling, can't they also inherit thankfulness???

Starting tomorrow, I'm putting it to the test.. Stay tuned. :)

That Feeling!

There are those moments when you know. You know that you've met the right one. You know you've found that perfect wedding dress, the perfect shade of lipstick, the perfect fitting jeans, the job that feels just right. You just KNOW!

Those moments of crystal clarity don't come around as often as I'd like, but when they do, they alter me in some tangible way.

The last time I had a KNOWING sort of moment was a few weeks ago. I was flying on a flight from Tampa to Denver. A rumpled blond head was resting on my chest, two chubby legs straddled my lap, and the familiar scent of a sleeping four year old filled my senses. My passion and purpose, at least as I see them, seemed to converge in that rather ordinary moment. Right then I had an overwhelming "conviction" if you will, that I needed and wanted, to share my journey with others.

Why not share the sweetness, and struggles, of my story with other parents, parents that have their own stories to tell? The same individuals that might somehow be encouraged through the snapshots and epiphonies that fill my days with wonder, laughter and EXHAUSTION.

As I search for lessons and meaning in the mundane, day to day moments, with my small children, it's my hope that somehow my faithful narratives about the wild ride of motherhood might bring you, hope, laughter, and a sense that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

So.... With that said, welcome. Please join me!