Welcome To the Future!

She was sitting in the passenger seat, next to me. She's been doing that lately. I looked over at my nine year old, her right ankle was crossed over her left knee, she was sitting up straight and tall, with poise, and for pity's sake she was reading a magazine, about ice skating.

When did she learn how to read? When did she become old enough to look at magazines? How is it that she's big enough to sit in the front seat (on a booster)? When did her profile start looking so much like mine?

Often, parents feel nostalgic and perhaps a little sad when their children start to grow up. So, because I was smiling ear to ear and feeling amazingly tender toward the girl/woman next to me I did an immediate gut check. I wasn't sad. There was no part of me that wished for her to still be a baby, or even a littler girl. Instead, I was in awe of what I was seeing, filled with wonder and pleasure over the person she's becoming.

Rather than missing who she has been, I found myself looking forward to the days to come. Slowly, imperceptibly our roles will change, she'll morph into being less my child and more my friend and I'm looking forward to those days, while at the same time not wishing away the precious moments between now and then.

I try not to look back and dwell on all the ways I've failed and wounded my daughter, all the times I've gotten it wrong. Sometimes, that's easier than others, but in this moment of basking in the pure pleasure of seeing into the future with my oldest child, I couldn't help but feel like I may have gotten a few things right.